You have dog beds in every room in the house because you tell them that
its their house too.
to stop the dog from pulling out everything in it while you're at work.
You can't see out the passenger side of the back passenger windows
because there are nose-prints all over the inside.
Poo has become a source of conversation for you and your
significant other.
You refer to yourselves as Mummy and Daddy.
You have 12 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but the dog
understands the sounds. Of course they do!
Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you
(but not immediately afterward, of course).
You carry dog biscuits in your handbag or pocket at all times.
You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their children.
You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards
from you and your dog.
You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable.
You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than go out.
You go to the pet shop every Saturday because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your dog loves to go with you. Its like taking a child into a toy shop.
You open your handbag at the check out in a busy shop,
and that big bunch of poo bags spills out everywhere.
You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can
use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit hip-deep in water.
You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back garden late at night, yelling, "Millie, go pee!" over and over again, while Milly tends to sniff around and forget what she's out there for. (What your neighbours tell each other about your behavior is yet another story).
You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the chemist.
Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy wood and
build her a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed or settee by herself. Your car number plate frame mentions your dog or has a cartoon drawing on it.
Your husband gets "stab-and-ping" meals each night while the dog gets freshly cooked chicken or steak and fresh vegetables.
You let your dog lick the plates clean.
You do not consider any of your outfits complete without some dog hair on it.
You snap your fingers and pat the sofa absent mindedly for guests to sit down.
You sleep on the edge of the bed because the dog is lying on its back
and has taken up the middle of the bed looking sooooooo cute!!
You spend more money on dog toys and accessories than you do
on your own family.
You carry more pictures in your purse of your dog than you do of your family.
You refer to your dog as your 'hairy' son or daughter.
Your dog is your bestest friend.
At boring dinner parties, you make an early escape using
the dog has an excuse to get home.
* * *
Wouldn't you just like to have a dog like this?
Until the next blog, have a good week. DAWN (")
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